The glory of battle

Okay, so I don't usually brag... but my boss just sent this e-mail to the whole gang:

Hello gang,

I just wanted to let you all know that Tony Vecchi took our support level to new heights over the weekend. In receiving 88 calls over the weekend, he attained the expressed benchmark of answering 90% of the calls with an average hold time of 52 seconds. This is the first time we have met that team goal.

Great job Tony!

Regards,

Big Boss

I feel good, except that I ate a handful of cottage cheese (I like to measure cottage cheese by the handful.)

My final words

Well, here he is, only 15 minutes late! I really can't complain. It's been a crazy ride kids, and now the train finally chugs to a stop. Choo chooooooooooooooooo

My favorite caller this weekend has to be the old man who typed in "ipconfig gerry" into the DOS prompt. He misunderstood me when I told him "g as in 'gerry'" when spelling it out for him over the phone. Maybe I should have said "g as in 'geriatric' you dusty old cracker!"

My least favorite caller was the lady from Nantucket who called me 4 or 5 times not being able to stay connected on her fucking yacht. YOUR ON A BOAT YOU DUMB BITCH WHAT THE FUCK? She kept talking about her lawyer's and attorney's offices where the connectivity was fine. Well I don't think the expensive carpeting and cedar desks are going to cause much interference but what about a 10-ton piece of floating metal?!?!? Man, what a cock. Ask Gina and Kev, they heard the whole thing.

Well... thats it folks, thanks to those of you who stuck with me through this whole ordeal. Now to continue on in other adventures outside of computers, where the sun shines and guitar strings glow in the moonlight! Where pepper's fry in a sweet ecstasy of flavorful enchantment on a golden wok in heaven's kitchen. Where a dove swoops down and kisses you on the cheek, the cheek of a baby daffodil in the morning light and where cherry blossoms bloom and... and...

Tech-support hell

I was fortunate enough to fall asleep around 2 and then not get a call until 7:30 this morning. Unfortunately after that things have been going down hill. First I get a call from a grade-a dickswab of a customer who argued with me. Without getting too technical i'll explain that he wanted me to reset a piece of equipment but I stated I would not do so until he worked with me first. Reasonable enough, and I got to use my favorite line, "You called ME for support sir, so you are going to have to listen to what I say." The conflict ended with him spouting, "I guess we're in a stalemate!" and then hanging up. I proceeded to scratch my balls.

So yea, now it's 8:10 and my boss is no where in sight. He said he'd come relieve me of my duties at 8AM, but here I am still taking calls. I'm pretty upset, I wanted to get off the phones and go back to bed, wake up 2 hours later, then eat some bruckfrest and start my day!

Well... ah well... I'll never break my shackles from the man. Oh masta!

Whoopie pie

I ate my celebratory whoopie pie tonight. Man it was a taste sensation all inside my mouth, but stinky ol' grampy decided to call me in the middle of it and poop about his network connections. Ah well, I suppose that's just a overall metaphor for life. Whenever you're eating desert, grampy is just gonna call and fuck it all up. Thanks gramp-o!

My marathon is almost complete. It actually hasn't been bad at all, but I bet tomorrow morning around 6 I'll start getting calls up the wazzer and it'll sting like a cranberry bitch! But it's okay, afterward I only have to start packing up all my belongings and move 20 minutes away to Leominster.

I realize tonight is perhaps my last night in Cedar St. but more on that later... I don't feel like getting all gushy and mawkish right now.

Oop! Here's another call! Tech support this is Tony!

Frazzle dazzle

Well it's 11:00am and I made it through the night just fine. I got that 1:30 call which was surreal. I don't even remember who it was or what we talked about. I barely recall making a post about it either. I do remember that I wrote a protracted musing about the subject but then deleted it right away and just put up that one sentence.

Anyway, I'm feeling pretty good right now. I still have my morning headache, but it'll be alright. I'm trying to fix Andy's computer right now, but with no luck. Next I'll start cleaning some more and try to take a shower, even if I have to miss a call. I need that damn shower.

A little kid just called me and his user name was SHOGUN07.

Good morning sunshine... wait... what?

Oh fuck, I just got a call at 1:30.

Get out of my head you damn kids!

6:15

Gina and Kev are here. Gina is drawing and Kev is attempting to install WoW on my computer so he can play it while I tech-support. I've been working on and off for the past few hours and its hard to believe I'm not even 1/2 way done. The calls haven't been too bad, and it's definitely nice to have some company to listen in on the crazy people who calls me. I spoke with 2 Indian people who I didn't understand AT ALL. I just said, "Thank you" and they said, "Thank you!" and then I hung up. Ben stopped by and took some pictures:

Like eating your dog's soggy biscuit

Well for lunch I had a ham sandwich and two corn on the cobs which tasted like shit for some reason. I researched on google exactly how long to boil them for, and it said 2 - 3 minutes for good, fresh corn. I assumed mine was, and treated it thusly, but alas it was disgusting and I should have boiled the shit out of that hobo corn. Anyway, now I'm waiting for Ben and Gina and Kevin to come over. The call volume has dropped off, but I can't stop feeling "the chill" as we call it in tech-support. Its that feeling of impending doom, were any moment something could go wrong...

Speeding too fast down the carpal tunnel

Lets see... 11:20 and I've had about 6 calls so far. Nothing too serious, except for these 2 old people who wanted me to tech-support both of their laptops at the same time. I took an irascible tone with them, using the force and depth of my sonorous vocals to sit them back down in their rockers. Of course I feel horrible now, hearing the sound of the old fellow's subjugated, meek voice asking, "where did you want me to click?" Anyway, I can't solve their issue right now. I told them to try the lobby and they argued with me saying the signal was fine in their room. Amazing how people call tech-support and then venture to argue against my knowledge. Fuck 'em. Today I must:

Do the dishes
Clean my room
Play guitar

Probably in that order. Probably starting... NOW!

The RX diaries

I start off today with a headache. I fucking love these days, the ones where I wake up in nauseating pain. I get these matutinal* "neck aches" and it feels like the chicken bones and cartilage in my neck are all misaligned and no matter how much I stretch and massage, it doesn't go away. I have some Excedrin I can take, but I also have to take Claritin-D and I'm pretty sure the caffeine and psuedophederin will make me shit-crazy. Then I'll have to take a Prylosec to calm my tommmy down. Fuck.

No calls yet, 8:15. I'm going to get a bowl of raisin bran crunchers right now.

*matutinal - Relating to or occurring in the morning; early. (I just saw it in my word-a-day e-mail from dictionary.com and thought it fit well. I believe it greatly behooves one's mind to explore the English lexicon and be a bit intrepid here and there with word choice. *jerk* *jerk jerk jerk* *jerk myself off*)

Goodnight my prince

It's 2:00am and time for bed. I spent my last hours on the outside watching Matt Jatkola playing at Hooligans. I have a strong distaste for that place. I want to play a show again soon. I'm hungry and excited to wake up and eat breakfast but not excited for what trouble there is to come. Basically I'll wake up and my phone will start ringing right off the bat. Hopefully since its the weekend things won't be so bad, or they could be even worse. You never know what kind of fat-fuck likes to stay inside and click on their network connections over the weekend. God damnit... I have to miss Rachel's show and going to the drive-ins... BOOFAS!

Okay world, this is it, I now lay myself down to sleep and will awake at 7:40 to take a shower before the phone starts ringing. Stay tuned for updates.

I can sing low notes under your high notes

So yea, Jeff is sitting behind me recording his guitar solo over the drum trax we spent 2 hours recording. The Claritin really hurt my tommmy, and I had to eat a turkey sub to make it go away. Here is the list of groceries I bought for my marathon:

1 bag of red seedless grapes
3 apples
2 tomatoes
1 iceberg lettuce
1 cuke
1 package of naan
1 container of honey ham (i fucking HATE HAM, but it was the only choice since there was a hot babe at the deli and I didn't want her to see me ordering a 1/2 pound of turkey)
1 loaf of whole wheat bread
1 container of cottage cheese
1 container of pineapple cottage cheese
1 jug of arizona green tea
1 whoopie pie (oops!)

We'll see how long that lasts me along with the box of Raisin Bran Crunch I have.

I have to wake up at 8am and start tech supporting! My goals for the weekend are modest. I plan to organize my shit and get it primed for boxin' and bagin' for my move to Leominster next week. Any one want to buy my computer and all my games? I really don't want to move those, they need to go away to someone else. I also hope to finish some recordings and play some videojuegos with mah pals. And also fix Andy and Alex's computer. Then we can all have those mix CDs we've been waiting for since Christmas!

The night before...

It is now 12:20 and I am jacked on Claritin D. I have dry mouth and a fire in my throat and oopa oopa! I'm sitting up in Manchester, NH doing jack shit like I could be doing in my room. At least there is a fan blowing on me. I'm here because my software phone wasn't working at home, but for some reason it works an hour away in NH. My boss said it would be good that I come to the office for "multiple reasons" so far being: meeting new nerds, shaking sweaty nerd hands, poking nerds in the belly and watching all the candy fall to the floor! Yipee!

I will be doing a 48-Hour tech support marathon this weekend, starting at 8am Saturday and ending 8am Monday. I will b e updating this live from my humid and soggy bedroom located in Fitchburg, MA. I have no idea what it is going to be like, but taking calls for 2 days straight will prove for an interesting introspection into the fortitude of my mind. Tally ho!

I have to go grocery shopping today and pickup supplies, which I will list in calorie crunching detail once I make it to the store. Lets hope my Claritin doesn't give me moods swings and I end up buying a chocolate fuck cake!

It happens.